hmm

Just did the 8 minute abs workout. I've done this about four times in my whole entire life now and each time I start I tell myself I'll do it at least 4 times a week but so far the longest I've ever gone was doing it twice in one week. I really need to actually push myself to do this because I want a flatter stomach. Sigh. Here it is:

I'm kind of sweating right now just a bit which I think is a good thing (I mean if I sweat, at least it means this workout is doing something for me, right?). I really want to actually keep this up, considering I have so much free time seeing as it's the summer. I also want to actually start going on jogs because I heard it helps your whole body in terms of becoming leaner. I know, apparently I look kind of fit but I feel like I need something to keep myself from getting fat in the summer and then when school starts I'll have P.E. class as my way of exercising. The thing is though, my stomach is pretty big. Like, bigger than an average person I think. Most of the time I suck it in but I really just want to try and get rid of my stomach fat. According to a comment on this video, it took some person 6 months of doing this workout to get abs. Though the thing is, I'm not aiming to get a rock-hard six pack. All I want is a toned stomach. But at the same time, that commenter was probably a guy and I think it's easier for a guy to gain muscle so um yeah. Maybe it will take me 6 months too then.
The thing I need to start working on is EATING HEALTHY. Dammit this is so hard to do. I'd say that my metabolism is pretty quick because I eat loads but I don't really gain much weight, so I'm lucky. But I think in order to help lose some fat in my stomach I should actually start eating right. The first step I took was drinking more water (to be honest, I don't really like the taste of water). But for the past few days, I've been drinking more cups of water than I usually do (which is not very much) so yeah. That's a start. I just got to start working on eating better. Like, the only thing I can think of that would be healthy is like a salad. But to be honest, I actually like salads. The thing I need to do is just find some good recipes and get ingredients. I have to make lunch for myself almost everyday now anyway so I might as well try out some recipes and stuff.
And now I realize that I'm not very sweaty anymore. But I do still want to take a shower. I still have to study for a test tomorrow. I have less than 2 weeks of summer school left! Next Friday (August 10) is the last day of summer school and it's also the day of my final exam (oh god) and then I'm free for what's left of the summer (which is basically a few weeks so that sucks). Plus, I don't have class this coming Monday so yay. My overall mark currently is 94.0% so it dropped. I think it's because as I'm nearing the end of this course, I'm just getting lazier and lazier and I don't want to do work anymore and I just want to start my summer. Sigh.
Well, let me just end this off with a song I've been listening to a lot recently, "National Anthem" by Lana Del Rey:

Plus ASAP Rocky's in this music video!! ^_^

From the tumblr blog of beyoncebeytwice:

"when attractive people compliment me on things i get suspicious because remember when regina george complimented that one girl on her skirt"

dream: odd future

So I just woke up and I had a dream last night so I decided to write it down now before I forgot it.

It began with this girl I knew and was friends with in elementary school named Wendy and I going to the Odd Future concert (the one that I am so fucking excited to see hehe). We arrived kind of later than we were hoping to but we still got in and got an okay spot. They performed some songs (I don't remember which songs now, sadly) and I remember checking my phone and it said 12 am. When the show ended, we were filing out, but everywhere were different coloured doors as soon as we got out, and each member of Odd Future was standing there and everything and people started lining up to different people. I lined up to Tyler and when I got to him, he was really tall and I gave him a hug but I didn't take a picture with him, I don't know why, and I regretted not taking a picture right after my friend and I walked away. Then, for some reason, a bunch of us went back to the concert area and there started throwing these giant balls around and the OF members all went back onto the stage and said some things that now I forgot exactly what they were. It was 1 am by then so we decided to just go home. Suddenly, we were on the 3rd floor of my school (Wendy doesn't go to my high school, she goes to a different one so it was kind of weird). We walked past her sister who waved at us. Then we walked down the big street by my school on my way home. It was really dark out but we were walking and talking about a bunch of stuff, kind of like catching up. We were both holding a lot of stuff that I don't remember holding at the concert, like I was holding a textbook and a binder (like my school ones) and she was holding 2 textbooks and a binder but since it was a dream it felt normal even though right now it just sounds ridiculous. We walked down to a church that's a few blocks down that I volunteered at twice for a summer day camp. We went inside, and Tyler was sitting in there praying. We both thought that this would be a good opportunity to take a picture with him. But we didn't want to disturb him. But he saw us and waved and we waved back. And he came out and we were all in the church's kitchen. We decided that we wanted some food delivered so we looked up the number for a pizza restaurant.

And then I woke up.

Weird.

adversity

I was too lazy to update my blog all week so now I think I will compile all the things I was going to post about all in this week's weekly post about my life and stuff.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

american apparel collared sleeveless button-down shirt, community sweater, talula skirt, urban outfitters tights, vintage necklace, vans shoes, thrifted bag

The mirror at Urban Outfitters that I took this picture at was dirty. So like, my tights are just all black. And so are my shoes. Sigh. Well, I wore this on Monday. My friend Kimberly and I went to get tickets to the Odd Future concert at the Vogue Theatre on September 25:

I'm so excited for it! The thing is is that it starts at 9:30 pm and probably won't end until pretty late and I didn't really tell my parents that part about it yet. Plus it's on a school night. Plus I'm pretty sure if they knew what Odd Future is they wouldn't let me go. Haha.

On Monday, I also bought a new belt from American Apparel! I needed a nice plain brown belt that looked vintage-ish. If you get what I mean. Because most belts from like Forever 21 and stuff have belts but their belts just look so cheap and the texture of it looks so new and smooth. Too new and smooth... but anyway, here's what it looks like:

And then a few days ago my sister got me a pair of leggings from TNA that I wanted:

So yay!

Anyway, I have 2 more weeks of summer school left. I can't believe I actually survived the past 4 weeks. I seriously thought I would die. The sad thing is, is that my marks are falling now. Well, kind of. My marks averaged in the mid-90s in terms of percentage and on my most recent test that I got back on balancing chemical equations I got about 82% on it. I feel like I'm just getting lazier and lazier and as this course goes on I just do worse and worse.

But enough about being nerdy and summer school and marks and stuff! Lately I've been listening to O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds:

It's my most played song on my iPod which surprises me considering it is almost 7 minutes long. But it's just so beautiful. I think what contributes a lot to the number of listens is that fact that for 5 nights so far I have fallen asleep listening to this song. When I wake up in the middle of the night and I realize that I have a pair of earphones on, my iPod is usually frozen (it's old) or it had run out of batteries. I really love this song though. And yes, I heard it from Harry Potter.
I added a new poster onto my walls too:

It's the map of Paris. I bought it a long time ago, actually, but I never bothered to put it up and then eventually forgot about it until recently. It's from a really nice paper and stationary shop at Granville Island called Paper-Ya. I put it next to my Andy Warhol poster just because the colours match and everything. Hehe.

nothing (it's something)

 I lol at the title because I have another post called 'something (it's nothing)' okay. Wow I'm a loser.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

My third week of summer school is over. To be very honest, I don't find Chemistry much of a pain to do three and a half hours a day every weekday. In fact, I kind of enjoy myself in that class, which is kind of strange for me, considering I usually find science courses either boring or lame. Right now, I'm getting 94.1%. I'm really happy because lately I've been doing really well on my tests. The past two tests I have gotten 97% and 100%, and all my marks have been at least over 90%, so yay! I really hope I can keep this up and continue to get my mark even higher for the second half of this course. I'm getting the fifth highest mark in the class though but I really want to get myself to at least third. Hm. I feel/sound like such a nerd right now.

Enough about school and shit like that, I have exciting newssss! ODD FUTURE IS COMING TO VANCOUVER ON SEPTEMBER 25 FOR THEIR CAMP FLOG GNAW TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god! They're going to be performing at the Vogue Theatre and my parents allowed me to go! Well, they don't even know what OF is and I'm pretty sure that if they did, I wouldn't be allowed to go, but still! Yay! I even have a friend to go with, which is really really great because in the beginning I was scared that I wouldn't find anyone to go with (most of my close friends don't exactly listen to this type of music yet alone rap) but yay I found someone to go with and we're going to get our tickets on Monday! I really want to get the tickets asap because I'm pretty sure the show will get sold out and I really want to see them live. I was so pissed when they weren't coming to Vancouver for their first tour for their Tape Vol 2 album but now that they're coming here for another tour I'm so happyyyyYYYYyyyYy ahddsfdshg AHHH. But first, I have to get the tix. Once I get the tickets, I will be really super happy.

Anyway, the sky has been really pretty the past few weeks. I love summer, because of how early the sun rises and how late the sun sets. And every evening around 9:30, the sky is this really pretty purply pink colour and I really love it, so I decided to take a picture of it.

I don't have much else to say because I keep thinking about going to an OF show.

Ooh did I mention The xx and Two Door Cinema Club will be performing at the Vogue Theatre too?! I don't really listen to their music much anymore, but I still love their sound. I want to go, but I'm a poor jobless girl. Sigh.

But I still keep thinking about the OF show. I love you, Taco Bennett.



Okay bye.

we stood so long we fell

Yesterday, I went to American Apparel and purchased a black crop t-shirt and silver dolphin earrings! The black t-shirt you can't really see very well. You know what, here, I'll upload the website's picture of the shirt:

I think this would be so cute with a pair of high-waisted shorts or a skirt or a pair of jeans like in the photo. But yay! I'm glad I got it. I'm still a bit self-conscious about my stomach though since I always try to hold it in and this crop top will totally just make matters worse for me, but I wanted to get this for a while now so I finally did.

The dolphin earrings, I was looking for a pair of dolphin earrings from AA (I saw a pair on the website that was 2 gold dolphins joined together to form a hoop) but I found these ones! They were 50% off, so I got them for $5. They seem kind of.. used and dirty. But I'm going to try and clean them and polish them because they're so cute. Hehe. I can't wait to get my starter earrings off.

You know, I'm kind of considering getting a job at American Apparel. I don't know if I'll get hired or not, but at the Metrotown location, I heard that they're understaffed, so I guess that might make it easier for me to get the job? Haha but I don't know. I'll probably be intimidated by the other workers though. I don't know. I feel like I should get a job because I would really love to make some money and AA seems like it'd be a cool place to work (plus discounts would be nice hehe). But their dress codes and everything seem really strict. Hm. I don't know.

i don't feel a thing

Just some pretty pictures.

c0uples, a.f. vandevorst spring/summer 1999, unknown, rogerwilkerson, pierrot le fou (1965), s. wauchob spring/summer 1999, theniftyfifties, badluckday

oh mama

Oops I did it again. I forgot to do my weekly post-about-my-life-that-no-one-probably-cares-about post every Friday. Well, kind of. I mean, I went shopping from 2-9 pm so I didn't really have time. Okay.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Yesterday, I went shopping with my weird friends named Madalene and Tara. This is what I wore:

tna shirt, mom's cardigan, american apparel shorts, thrifted bag, aldo shoes

I wanted to find a cute bikini for the summer so I tried finding one yesterday. I was trying to find a bandeau-style bikini top because I heard that it flatters smaller chests (and I have, like, no boobs) so yeah. At first I couldn't find anything, but then I stumbled into American Apparel and bought this adorable mix and match black ruched bikini bandeau and watermelon print high-waist bottoms:

To be honest, I've never owned (well, I wore my sister's once with a t-shirt over it for swimming in PE but besides that) a bikini in my life nor have I worn one just like that without anything over it. But this summer, I felt like I needed to be less.. insecure and worried about my looks, I guess? I felt like since I am turning 17 soon (on September 13 ^_^), becoming a senior next school year in high school and my teenage years are soon coming to an end, I should have some fun and just stop constantly worrying about what others think of me. Well, of course, I still worry a bit about how others view me, but I feel like I've gained some confidence and self-esteem lately and that I should just enjoy myself and my life. So here I am. I've always been really self-conscious about my body (especially my stomach, because it has always been fat throughout my childhood and even now I still feel like it's fat) but someone told me that I should just stop worrying, because in reality no one actually will notice. Oh, and another thing I've done is that I've stopped wearing foundation. Well, partly because I'm running out. BUT STILL, I used to be really insecure about my face (I have some redness and acne) and I would cover my face in foundation no matter what every time I leave the house, but now I just conceal any redness that stands out so I think this is a start for me being more confident about myself.

But enough about me and my insecurities and back to my day yesterday.

I also watched 'The Amazing Spider-Man' and it was pretty good. Dr. Curt Connors creeped me out. But Peter Parker's wardrobe was really nice. And way less nerdy. And Andrew Garfield was hot.

Well, I have to go do some homework for summer school now. I have 3 tests this coming week. GREAT. LIFE IS JUST GREAT. I had 3 tests this past week, too. I'm not even on the third week of summer school yet of these six weeks of horror and torture. I'm currently getting 91.2% which is good considering I'm aiming for 90+ but bad considering I'm getting only 6th in the class. And also 91% is not good enough for university (not that this Chem 11 course will be used toward university admission.. I'm just saying) but I really need to study harder and do all my homework. I should do some practice questions and prepare for my upcoming test on Monday now. Sigh. I hope I make it through this. Well, at least my teacher is nice.

you talk to me with words, and i look at you with feelings

american apparel bandeau, shirt, and shorts, thrifted cardigan and bag, aldo shoes

This was from July 9 and I had completely forgotten to upload/post this! So I went shopping that day and I didn't really buy anything but some strange/awkward things happened that day.

I was in American Apparel looking around for a nice cropped tank top and suddenly this girl came up to me and said "hi!" and I was confused so I said "hi" back and she started asking me about what colours this skirt she was holding came in and I was thinking 'omg what' and then I realized that she thought I worked there! Haha and I was like "Sorry.. I don't work here.." and she was like "oh my gosh sorry!" and walked away and she looked so embarrassed that I kind of felt bad. But then again I was wearing almost all AA clothes which I think is, like, their policy. I don't know.

And then later on on the skytrain there was this really creepy old man and I actually got, like, really scared. He was sitting right across from me and he started talking to himself. Except, most old people whisper to himself, but he was like, literally shouting to himself in Chinese. And even though I understand Chinese I could barely make out what he was saying (maybe it was a different dialect) but then I kept staring at everyone in the skytrain especially at me and these two other girls also sitting almost next to me. I got really freaked out because he started saying stuff like "two.. one.." in Chinese and he looked at those two girls and then he looked at me (and I was sitting by myself) while saying that so I got really creeped out. I swear I thought he was going to attack me or something or suddenly do something like he was possessed and I couldn't wait for my stop so I could just run out of the skytrain as fast as I could for my fucking life. Like, I know it's kind of mean to be so rude about an elderly man, but he just really scared me. He was really, really old too. Like, he looked maybe 80. And he was wearing a really thick coat on a day that was like mid 20 degrees celsius but felt like over 30 degrees celsius. I really hope I don't encounter him again though.

But on a brighter note, that day was a very nice day. Nice in terms of weather, and how I felt. While on the bus after I got off the skytrain, I typed this on my phone:

today i felt pretty. it was a really nice feeling because i looked at cute guys and they looked at me back. it kind of makes me want to cry because it’s not everyday that i actually feel pretty and most of the time i don’t like the way i look. i really hope i can feel this way more in the future.

 And I really did feel pretty that day. Okay bye.

yay

Yesterday I got my ears pierced!!! Like, finally! I had been waiting for that day since I was, like, 6. Well, I had a chance to pierce my ears when I was about 7 or 8 but at the place with my ears marked and everything ready to go, I backed out. Sigh. But yesterday, I got my ears pierced and I'm super excited to actually get to go out and buy earrings and actually wear earrings now! I was really freaked out about the pain, but it didn't really even hurt at all. So basically I got myself all worked up for nothing. They did both sides at the same time and I closed my eyes and they pierced my ears and all it felt like was my ears being squeezed for a fraction of a second. No wonder people describe it like a pinch, because it was actually like that. Haha. And after they pierced it, I opened my eyes, and my reaction to the experience was "oh." That's what I said right when they finished piercing it. But after that was just horrible. I started getting this faint feeling and I knew what was coming. This is exactly what happened after I got my swine flu shot two years ago: first, everything around me starts sounding very quiet and distant, and then my vision starts going blurry and when I look around, everything has a static-ish look, like when you close your eyes. Except, all those colours when you close your eyes, I could see them around me, like people's faces were composed of it and I started feeling really hot. And then within five minutes, it all went away. Weird.

I googled it/applied my sad biology 12 knowledge and it said something about how it could be because I got all excited and my blood pressure went up and then your body tries to lower the blood pressure by slightly dilating the vessels but it dilates too much and you feel faint. Something along those lines.

But yay! I'm so happyyyyyyyyyy!

she's got you high

Hm I seem to have forgotten my weekly journal yesterday. I guess I'll do that now.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Yesterday was the end of the first week of my six week summer school Chemistry 11 sadness. Sigh. That was, like, a huge alliteration but ANYWAY I've been such a keener lately. Haha. I've been trying to finish my homework in class and I've been writing out all my notes super neatly at home (and even recopying notes that my teacher gave us a printed copy of!!!). I think that this ready-to-learn and organized attitude of mine will disappear probably in about a week or so. This is what happened last year, at least. Well, hopefully I will be able to actually keep this up to the very end! I really hope for a good mark in this course. I'm aiming for at least 90%. I feel like I'm, well I'm not sure how to say this, but "testing" out these study habits and seeing how they go for me in preparation for the upcoming school year - my senior year. Ahh. I don't know how many times I've said this but I WANT TO STAY IN HIGH SCHOOL AND BE YOUNG FOREVER. Sigh.

Anyway, yesterday I watched 500 Days of Summer for, like, the billionth time. I made myself some tortillas with melted cheese (I don't even know if it's considered nachos but whatever) with green onions and Thai basil.

Even though I've watched 500 Days of Summer so many times, I still love it. Okay I'm gonna talk about the movie now so if you still haven't watched it PLEASE WATCH IT GODDAMMIT and so like I might spoil it so.. just scroll. Anyway, even though I've watched it so many times, I still keep asking myself WHY SUMMER WAS SUCH A COLD HARD BITCH WHO PLAYED WITH TOM'S HEART. Ahem. I know, no matter how many times I watch it, Summer's bitchiness will never change, but ugh. I still love the film regardless though. Plus, the soundtrack is great. I remember when I first watched the film, I just HAD to search up the soundtrack and find the songs because they tied in with the film so well. I used to really love Regina Spektor's 'Hero':

In fact, I really loved/hated the scene that this song was in because it made me so mad that Summer was actually seeing another guy and just totally leading Tom on and ugh. WHY SUMMER. YOU BITCH. But the way the scene was filmed with the 'Expectations' and 'Reality' I found was a really lovely way to deliver the scene and the unexpected news that Summer was a fucking bitch leading on Tom the whole fucking time!!!!! Okay I'll stop now with this now.

So yesterday I was lying in bed listening to music before going to bed and I looked at the wall near my feet and their was a fucking spider on the wall. Like just there. It wasn't even near the ceiling. It was so low! Like oh my god. I took a bad quality pic of it with my phone and sorry the quality is absolute shit but the spider was actually kind of big. Like, not THAT big. But not very small either. I don't know.

Right when I saw it, I literally screamed and yelled "HOLY FUCK" and I jumped right out of bed and yelled for my dad to kill it. He grumpily came (he was sleeping and I woke him up hehe) and he killed it and went back to bed. But ugh I hate spiders so much and they seriously give me the creeps. Even after my dad killed it, I just stood there outside my room because I didn't feel safe going back in there. Haha. And after I got the guts to go back in, I reluctantly went back onto my bed, and my legs felt so itchy and ugh and I was almost in fetal position and I kept looking at the walls around me to see if there were more spiders out to get me.

And then OMG. I had a dream too. Last night, I dreamt that I was in my kitchen, and I looked up at the ceiling, and there were like 50 fucking spiders on the ceiling like the one from last night. I got so scared and then all of a sudden one of them fell right above me and I tried to get out of the way but I swear it landed it on my head and in my hair and I started freaking out and I told my mom to look through my hair to find that fucking spider and my mom went through my hair and stuff and couldn't find it but I was so sure that that spider was still in my hair. Ugh. So grosssss. I'm getting itchy just thinking about spiders. In fact, my scalp is getting that feeling like a spider's on it now. Ughhhhh.

skull candy

snap reconstructive surgery shirt, mom's cardigan, american apparel shorts

Today was about 20 degrees and it was actually sunny, like the sky was really blue and stuff so that was good. I don't really have much to say because I'm tired and I don't want to think. Good bye.

if they stop loving you, i won't stop loving you

On Wednesday I went to my favourite consignment store, Front & Company, on Main St. And guess what I found?! This pair of coral American Apparel shorts! I've been eyeing these in store and online for so long, but I didn't buy them because they were $56 and I didn't really want to spend that much on simply a pair of shorts. Good thing I didn't buy them though because I got them at Front for only $24! I'm so happy with this purchase. Hehe. Sadly, they are a bit tighter than I prefer but they still fit so it's all good. As the weather warms up, I can't wait to wear these shorts out! Aaah. I checked the weather network's website and July looks like it's gonna be pretty warm! I'm so excited! ^_^

I mean, I know it's only the low 20 degrees, but still! Here, any time it reaches any temperature near 20 degrees, it's time to pull out your shorts! Well, that's how teenage girls think. I wish it would reach, like, 30 degrees though. 30 is kind of, like, uncomfortable summer weather, but I like it. I don't know why. Through the sweating, sitting in front of the fan, and dying slightly from the heat, I actually like the feeling of it all. Haha.

Anyway, yesterday I decided to try on a full American Apparel outfit just for shits:

I am wearing an American Apparel twist scarf, bandeau, sleeveless sheer button-up, sweater, shorts, socks, shoes, and backpack. If only I had, like, sunglasses from there too. And if only my nails were painted with AA nail polish. And if only I had AA jewelry on. Okay, I'm taking this way too far. Haha.

i cannot be trusted

A gif that basically describes how I was like this morning. Sigh. Today was the first day of summer school. I'm taking Chemistry 11 Completion and it really sucks. I woke up at 6:15 this morning because my summer school starts at 8 am but I wanted to get there at least 20 minutes earlier (just in case I couldn't find my class and I would be wandering around like a lost soul/ghost with nobody to talk to you know) and I take forever to get ready in the morning so yeah. When I say forever, I really actually mean forever. You know what? I'm going to summarize really quickly for you all the bad things that happened today, and then all the good. Okay? Okay:

Bad things that happened today

• my favourite liquid eyeliner ran out while I was applying it this morning
• I didn't have time to shave my legs so I couldn't wear shorts
• I didn't know anyone in my class
• my pretty blue pen ran out of ink while I was writing notes
• there's no cute guys in my class

Good things that happened today

• my mom picked me up so I didn't have to walk

Basically this was my sad day today. I can't believe my Dolly Wink eyeliner ran out. God. I didn't even have it for that long. Like, what, a month or two? Ugh. And during that time, I swear, I forgot how to apply gel liner so I kind of fucked up my eyeliner this morning. And I wanted to wear shorts but I forgot to shave my legs. I haven't shaved it in, like, a week, which is pretty gross, but considering how rainy it has been lately and how lazy I am, it was okay for the time being I think. But today the sky was blue as fuck and it was mildly warm. Sigh. I heard tomorrow is going to be hotter so hopefully I can wear shorts tomorrow. Yay. But seriously, to make matters worse, there weren't even any cute guys in my class! NONE! I mean, I had like no one to talk to today because, like, I knew nobody and I look like a bitch most of the time, except this one girl sat next to me so she's now my lab partner. But as I was saying, if there was at least ONE cute guy in my class, it would make the class much more bearable (and the upcoming six weeks more bearable too) and it wouldn't really matter that I have no friends because there would be a handsome body of hotness sitting in the room.

Today was already boring as fuck and this is only the easy introduction shit to Chemistry 11. Great. The next six weeks will be a fucking joy ride.

Anyway, today, I decided to google why I'm having some dreams that I've been having lately. So like, most of the time, my dreams are about being late or forgetting stuff and freaking out at school or something. In fact, a lot of my dreams have to do with school. It's sad, really. Like, my most recent one was just plain weird. I had to go to my calculus class but I was still in my french class trying to finish something up but I was already late for calc so I hurried to my calc class and my teacher said we'd be doing this assignment, but the rest of the class already left, and all of a sudden I was flying through the air riding a motorcycle and I could see the earth like as if I was looking at satellite images like it looked realistic-ish with clouds and everything. And so my teacher told me to meet the rest of the class at some small island off the west coast of Africa and so I found Africa but I couldn't find this stupid island and I was freaking out so I continued to fly and then I went lower and then I realized that I was flying over Australia so I descended more until I was at the rural town in Australia with farmland and stuff so I landed my motorcycle on this dirt road and continued my way down the road and I remember looking at really pretty glistening water. Yeah. I think this dream had to do with my brother talking loads about motorcycles recently and the fact that I fell asleep that night watching Earth From Space on Discovery Channel. My other late dreams aren't as retarded. Like, they're pretty realistic. Just me being late for class and forgetting what class I have or forgetting this really important assignment. But um apparently dreams about being late and stuff have to do with feeling unprepared/unready. You know what? I'll just quote something I read:

"To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. You feel time is running out and that you do not have time to accomplish all the things you want."

So yeah, I guess I am conflicted with decisions about my future. The future is just something I don't want to think about and I'd prefer to avoid but I know it'll come eventually. And I feel like time is running out. Well, time in high school. Time as a teenager. I feel like I've wasted so much of my adolescence not doing anything and now I wish I could take that time back and actually go out and accomplish things. Sigh. This totally goes back to this quote I really love:

"One day you're 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly, without you really noticing someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life."

Apparently it's from some season finale of One Tree Hill. But yeah. I should end this post now. I really have to get started on my summer school homework.

P.S. I'm going to label my sad summer school life posts as "summer bummer school diaries". Lovely.