good kids make bad grown ups

adidas originals t-shirt, secondhand denim jacket, tna leggings, joe fresh jacket, doc marten boots

The weather's getting uglier and colder and wetter and that means my Doc Martens are coming out! Even though I bought these babies 2 years ago, I haven't worn them that much to be honest. Or, it feels like I haven't worn them very much. I don't know. But I love how my Docs always keep my socks dry after walking home in pouring rain. Now that Vancouver's rainy weather is returning, I won't see a nice warm day until maybe June of next year. Sigh. This is why I wish I lived in California, because it's, like, nice weather all the time. But hey, it's autumn, and winter is coming. LOOK AT DEM LEAVES

Ooh and Christmas is nearing too! I really love Christmas. I don't know. Like, around Christmas time, when I'm walking into the mall from the Skytrain station, there's holiday music playing and it's so cold but it makes me so happy. Is that kind of weird? Haha.

But enough about Christmas, because Halloween is tomorrow! I'm dressing up as a cat. Yes, my costume is totally the most unique thing ever. I'll post some photos tomorrow, when I actually get myself all dressed up. I'm still not entirely sure what to wear, since I have cat ears and a tail and I suppose I can just wear anything black and it'll work. I'm thinking about just wearing my black AA crop top with my black Talula skirt and yeah. And draw a cat nose and whiskers and ta da I'm a fucking cat.

Anyway, I submitted my grad write-up yesterday and I wrote: "Good kids make bad grown ups. Stay gold, stray old." It's from 'Parade' by Tyler, the Creator.

P.S. I finally made a Twitter haha. I know, FINALLY! I still don't get the point of it... I mean I just tweet about what's up with my life? What if my life is a huge piece of boring shit? Wah

i wanna be an idle teen

I never curl my hair and I am, like, a complete amateur at it and this was probably my third or fourth attempt of curling my hair in my whole entire life sadly but I thought I'd like post this. ^_^

Anyway, my grad write-up is due on Tuesday which is 3 days away and I'm getting nervous because I still don't know what to write for it! Like, I want something short and simple but clever ya know? Ugh these grad write-ups are due way too soon, like it's October! Why do we have to get these in in October!? The school year started just a month or two ago...

And more about school! My marks are less than I was hoping for too at the moment. Like, the courses I'm using for university admission are English, Math, Biology, and either French or Chemistry. At the moment, I have absolutely no clue what I am getting in English and French as my teacher never posted our marks but based on our assignments for English so far I am getting a pretty good mark. In terms of percentage, my mark is in the 90s I'd say. French is probably an A but under 90 so that is less than satisfactory for me, considering it's French and I FUCKING NEED THIS TO BOOST UP MY AVERAGE FOR ADMISSION. And then Math isn't going so swell. My first test I got 81% and that is just fucking horrible. Biology I am getting 92 or 93 which is like the minimum average for university admission so I need to step my game up, like honestly. And then for Chem I'm getting barely an A. Fuck. If I don't get into UBC this is going to suck. A lot. And I'm going to get hell from my parents.

I'm just getting so stressed lately. Like, I'm actually considering going to my guidance counsellor and asking for advice on hope to cope with stress and how to stop procrastinate or at least minimize it. For so long I just pushed aside my habit of procrastinating and told myself that by the time I am in grade 12 I would know to work hard and stop slacking off. Well guess what? I'm in grade 12 and I'm. Still. Fucking. Procrastinating.

I know I talk about shit like this so much but I just really don't want high school to end. I just don't ever want to grow up. I don't want to become an adult. I don't want to take care of things myself and gain responsibility. In fact, I hate the feeling of responsibility. I think this is why I still haven't gotten my driver's license unlike a lot of people in my grade. I still haven't gotten my learner's, which most people got as soon as they turned 16. I guess I'm just pushing it all aside because it makes me feel like I'm growing up and maturing, which I do not want. Ugh.

Oh and also on October 25, I went to my first ever high school dance. Haha. I never went before because I'm not really the social event type of person, plus.. I CAN'T DANCE. But I decided just to go anyway because it's my last year of high school after all (sadly) so I thought I'd just make the best out of it and actually do stuff that I don't normally do. Like going to a school dance. Haha. I was really worried I was going to be, well, awkward. But to be honest, when I went, it was different from what I imagined it to be like... I mean, I don't know. There were less people than I expected. Also, basically everyone was in this huge tight group in front of the stage where the DJ was, who was just this guy in my grade. And, like, all the music they played was, well, house music which isn't really my thing so... But anyway, it wasn't that bad, but it's not exactly the most fun thing in the world... Haha.

And meanwhile on Facebook right now there is an epidemic of 'like for a tbh' statuses and I liked a few of them but honestly I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have because knowing how other people view me is something I worry about a lot. It's because as much as I can change myself, I can never change how other people think of me. And I mean, the 'tbh's that I received were pretty nice, but there was one that said that I think I am different from others and that I seem like I hate people and seem really opinionated. I mean, I've always tried to be unique but the way the person said it made it seem like... I try to be different? Like, I try HARD to be different? I mean, the person probably didn't intend it like that, but it made me feel like it was meant like that. And about how it seems like I hate people... I don't even know what to say about that. I mean, honestly, I am very opinionated but I never realized that I came across like I hate everyone. I think I'm just overcomplicating this whole thing. But still. I've just been thinking about this a lot lately. And I guess I'm writing this out here because I don't have anyone I can tell this too. I mean, I feel like if I talk about it, I would just sound so stupid.

Why the fuck do I always make things so complicated. Why do I have to think so much. Ugh.

Meanwhile, I'm very, very slowly reading '1984' by George Orwell. Very slowly. Like, a few pages a day slow. And speaking of this novel, one day my English teacher who is this pretty cool funny guy was wearing a t-shirt that was like '1984' themed with an eye on it and everything and when I went up to him to get a worksheet I told him that I was currently reading that novel and ever since then he's been smiling and saying hi to me in the halls. All righty then.

no idols

Okay! Finally! My recent purchases! They range from just a few days ago to almost a month ago but oh well. I thought I'd just post them now.

Here are my shoes that I'm going to be wearing for my Artona photo (grad photo). I have a photo of my dress in this post (somewhere in there). In fact, I'm wearing these right now. Hehe. I got them from Aldo. They were originally I think $100 but I got them on sale for $50! They're 5.5 inches and suede. My mom and aunt are convinced that I'm going to trip and die but honestly they're not even that tall. Whatever.

So I bought this denim jacket like a month ago. I wore it to Sagan's photo show and the Odd Future concert. I bought it from F As In Frank for only like $36. When I first stepped into the store I was so overwhelmed by everything and askdjflg but yeah. I really want to stop by there again soon.

At the same shopping trip that I bought the denim jacket. I think this shirt was definitely an impulse buy... but anyway, I got it from Front & Company and I thought it'd be weird and cute and it was like $18. Maybe I'll wear it next summer, tucked into a pair of vintage Levi's or something. But for now, I'm not sure about this. Haha.

Okay and during the same shopping trip I also bought this from Front & Company except I couldn't take it home until like 2 weeks later because it was on display in the front. So yeah. But it was $24 dollars and basically it's just this oversized acid washed thin jacket sort of thing. I'm still debating on whether or not it was a good purchase but yeah...

Lastly, I have this vintagey bomber jacket! I actually like this. I don't know. There's just something about it that I like, but boy am I bad at making clothes look ugly in pictures. Trust me it's really not so bad in person!! I bought it at Front & Company as well (wow I just realized how much random stuff I buy there) and I think it'll be so cute especially in the summer with a pair of high waisted shorts, a crop top, chelsea boots and my light wash denim American Apparel backpack.

Wow this post has been filled with weird purchases. But yeah. Haha. Now I have to go back to doing homework. *cries*

we are golden

Wow I just realized that I haven't done an outfit post for ages. Well, that's because every morning I'm so busy rushing and trying not to be late and so I have, like, no time to take a picture of my outfit. Then afterschool I usually have volleyball practice or a game so by the time I get home I'm still in my volleyball stuff and all sweaty and gross and tired. But yeah. Yesterday I had no school and I went shopping with my sister so I finally took some outfit photos!

american apparel sweater, tna leggings, tna parka, vintage necklace, thrifted bag, nine west boots

I went shopping on Main Street and then headed downtown. I went to Front & Company (a really great consignment store) and I bought a vintagey-looking 90's style silk bomber jacket with ropes and chain prints on it. Also, I bought 3 bras from La Senza because they're having, like, this sale thing where you get $10 off a regular priced bra so I got them for like $11-$14 each so yay! Haha and I also finally bought one of those Featherlite bras (the ones that you just, well, stick on) from La Vie en Rose (because it was $40 and the cheapest I could find) for my backless dress for grad photos!

Speaking of those Artona photos, they're coming up so soon. Adkdjklgfd I'm actually getting a bit freaked out. I mean, I already bought my shoes (I'll post them maybe tomorrow because I took photos of all my recent purchases today but I'm just too lazy to upload them) and everything but I haven't booked my hair and makeup yet so I'm a bit worried about that! I mean, my cousin is going to be doing my hair for both days I have group photos but I'm not sure if I should get it done at a salon for my individual photo session which is on a separate day. Plus, I still need to book an appointment to get my makeup done. I think I'm just going to go to MAC or something but I'm still not entirely sure what kind of makeup I want. Like, I feel like I should just go for like more natural eye makeup like maybe a really subtle and soft smokey eye but I'm afraid they're going to... well, over-do it? Because I feel like eyeshadow looks horrible on my eyes (the way I apply it, at least) so I'm praying that a professional will be able to make it actually look good.

So lately, I've been obsessing over Make It Or Break It. I remember when during the spring break of 2011 I watched all the episodes of MIOBI (well, that were released at the time) and I watched all of season 1 and 2 and I was waiting for season 3 which wasn't scheduled to be released until, like, a year later and I was devastated. So a year passed and I grew out of my MIOBI obsession and I never bothered to watch season 3 despite the fact that it aired like over half a year ago. So now, I have rewatched all of season 1, and I am currently on episode 15 of season 2, and I am making my way up to season 3 which I am now really excited to watch! Hehe. And my obsession over it has come back because now I can't stop talking about it with my sister who is also rewatching it too (in her own time). Oh god I'm such a loser but I can't help it! I'm planning to rewatch The O.C. this winter break or spring break too! Heheh.

Well, I'm tired, since I came back from a family party too. And I have planned out a huge schedule for tomorrow. I have my whole day planned out from the minute I wake up at 8:30 am until about 8:00 pm. I have everything written there as to what homework I will do and for how long and I even included breaks to watch 3 MIOBI episodes. ^_^

Okay, bye!

clouds in your eyes

omoimono

Saw these cute nails on my tumblr dashboard and I just had to post them. Wow I wish I could do my nails remotely as pretty as this. Sigh.

And on recent news, I just came back from the doctor's and apparently I have a mild case of food poisoning. Great. And I might have to give a poo sample for lab analysis hahahahahahahahaha

untitled #4

Life honestly sucks right now. I feel like shit right now. Yesterday I felt even shittier. On Saturday night I went out for all you can eat sushi at Kingsway Sushi with some girls from my volleyball team and we ate. At lot. Then we went over to one of their houses and watched 'Panic Room' together (well, kind of, because we left like half an hour before the movie ended). When I got home, it was almost 12 am. I perfectly fine, watching TV and everything, and at around 1 am I began to notice that I had a little bit of a stomachache. I thought it was no big deal because my stomach usually feels a bit weird after eating a lot of sushi. But then my stomachache started getting worse and worse to the point where I went to the bathroom but it didn't work and my stomach just hurt so badly. So I told my parents and they told me to just keep trying to go to the bathroom and I did. So I remember going to the bathroom and then lying back down on my bed for maybe 15 minutes and then going back to the bathroom for a while and then going back to my bed and this continued for hours. And my parents were actually considering taking me to a 24 hour walk-in clinic or the hospital or something. And then finally I.. okay this is gross but I finally diarrhea'ed and my stomach felt much better and by then it was 5 am. Then the next day I didn't get up until 2 pm but my stomach still felt a bit weird. In fact now, Monday, my stomach still feels a bit weird. Ugh. And so that made me feel like shit. And then I also felt like shit yesterday because I didn't understand a lot of my calculus review on limits and I have a test tomorrow but I need to hand in my review today. So I'm just going to ask my teacher for help (for once because to be honest I don't like my teacher because he's so patronizing and condescending). And also even though my stomach is feeling much much better my mom still wants me to go to the doctor so she wants to book an appointment but I have volleyball practice today, Wednesday, and Thursday and a game tomorrow. And the fucking ugly rainy shitty weather isn't making things better either. And I'm supposed to be doing my English homework that I forgot about that's due today right now during my free block. But I'm doing this instead. Fuck.

all-dressed

by nastygal

Why do such cute Nasty Gal dresses have to be so expensive?! Wah. The first dress, called the Lulu Dress is so gorgeous and I really want to buy it and wear it to Winter Formal or something (that is, if we have one this year) but the price of it is $135 which I cannot afford. Ugh. And then there's the second dress, the Together Again Dress and it's so simple yet sweet but $150 which is not so sweet. And then the Censored Skater Dress which is honestly one of the most cute and unique dresses I've ever seen (and part of the first Nasty Gal Collection!) is $128. And then I stumble upon the Sweet Silk Dress which looks so plain yet lovely and something so plain I would've expected to be more affordable but nope, it's $268.. IF ONLY I WAS RICH.

my soul was filled with crystal light

So I'm waiting for my Make It Or Break It video to load and everything (it takes forever *cries*) so I decided to look through my phone's photos and post some schtuff! And behold, this rainbow light thing at my friend's house from a couple weeks ago! Ahah I thought it was pretty so I took a picture of it and then I thought to myself "I'm gonna do one of those tumblr pics of a hand and a rainbow just 'cause!" So uh I did just that. I'm lame, I know.

And while we're on the topic of pretty things, I found these two photos of the sky from like exactly one year ago on this day and wow it's so pretty. I don't even remember taking it but to be honest it's not everyday I see the sky like this. Maybe because I don't look outside in the evening. Hmm. Oh well.

And here's a picture of me in the change room at a tournament just last Friday! As in the Friday that was two days ago. Unfortunately we came in 2nd place in the tournament but we still got cake (a chocolate cake with Kit Kat and strawberries and raspberries on top! SO YUMMY) and we had so much fun in the last game because we had already played so many games and we were all tired and starving and done. Hahah. We were laughing so hard on court at our own mistakes and it was just so funny and sad. But yeah.

FUCKS SAKE MY MIOBI VIDS HAVEN'T FINISHED LOADING YET. Ya know what? I'm gonna do some calculus homework. Okay bye.

P.S. look at my foot tan line oh gosh

negative space

Negative Space by Mungo Thomson

Wow can I just please have something like this painted on one of my room walls? Or all of my room walls? Or all the walls in my house? This is just so beautiful.

je suis la femme de ma vie

veromato, me

Found this in my drafts from a while back, but I had completely forgotten about it! Since I feel like I haven't posted in a while, I suppose I'll post it now and give a quick update.

I've been so busy with volleyball lately that it's insane. This week, I have had volleyball every single day of the week (well, excluding the weekend). It went like:
Monday: practice
Tuesday: game
Wednesday: practice
Thursday: game
Friday: tournament

So hectic and did I mention I had tests and quizzes and presentations this week too?! But unlike last year, I actually enjoy volleyball now. Like, I don't know if it was my team last year, or the coach, or both, but this year I find myself actually looking forward to practices and games now! Last year, I think I was intimidated by the grade 12s (because the senior team is comprised of grade 11s and 12s) and the coach seemed to favour the better players. I mean, I don't blame my coach for favouring the better players because, well, they're better and she should focus more on them since she puts them in the game more, but me being, well, not as strong in volleyball (since I don't play club), my coach basically ignored me and it seemed like she didn't want to waste her energy on me. Like, seriously? I mean, I get that I'm not as good, but the least she could have done was help me to succeed and do better. But nope, she basically pushed me and my friend (who also wasn't as skilled as the other players) aside and didn't even bother with us. However this year, I'm actually on the starting lineup, and I actually like my team because I don't feel looked down upon by other players, AND I DON'T GET LOOKED DOWN UPON BY MY COACH. That is a huge thing that differs between last year and this year in my opinion. This year, I feel like my coach actually tries to help each and every one of us with our own struggles (for me, my serving) and he is actually funny and makes practices and games enjoyable. Plus he calls us stupid kids ahaha.

Anyway, enough with this huge sprouting of volleyball-related things.

So, in English class, we're currently reading 'Of Mice and Men' by John Steinbeck. Well, I kind of read ahead and finished the book, while the rest of the class is still on, like, page 30-something. To be honest though, the book was already spoiled for me when I was googling some things about Lennie and first, (I'm trying to word it so that I don't spoil it for others haha) what Lennie did got spoiled, and then I said to my friend "Oh my god, the book was spoiled for me." And little did I know, there was still another huge event in the book, and my friend spoiled it for me by saying "Oh, me too! The part where George ___, right?!" And I'm like "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? GEORGE ___?!?!?!?!?!" So yeah, it sucks when that happens, but I was going to read it anyway, I suppose. But anyway, I actually enjoyed the book. Like, the beginning was a bit slow in my opinion, but as the book progressed, I was really enjoying it.

And speaking of enjoying things (okay that sounded weird), my math tutor explained some calculus to me about limits and I kind of get it now and I was actually enjoying the homework on limits (well, the introduction to it, BUT REGARDLESS)!!! Haha hopefully I will do better on the limits test, considering I got 55% on my functions test. Oh gosh. I really need to catch up on my limits homework though, I'm really falling behind in calculus. But I will use this long weekend (since it's Thanksgiving) to catch up. Hopefully.

Okay well, I'm gonna end this here.