2012-05-30

fa la la la la la fucking la

american apparel button-down, thrifted cardigan, silence+noise jeans, vintage boots, american apparel backpack

I look so weird here. Oh well.

School's ending in soon! I think there's only like 4 fucking weeks left. Ahhhhh. I can't wait to get exams and all that shit over with, and then SUMMER BREAK. Kind of. I'm taking a six-week Chemistry 11 Completion course in summer school, which starts sometime in the beginning of July, but hey, I still have a couple weeks to relax after school's done with. And then summer school will probably end like within the first two weeks of August and I'M FREE. Like, ACTUALLY FUCKING FREE. EEeeeeEee can't wait for that day to come. I really gotta focus on school now though. I'm gonna be in grade 12 next year! God, I'm old. I'm still a kid. A kid at heart. Ugh I don't wanna graduate. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

P.S. I have on Revlon nail polish in "Minted". I really gotta grow out my nails. I always manage to do that around this time of the year. It's because I'm so busy around this time (with exams, and summer school), I don't get bored. I tend to pick at my nails when I'm bored. Plus, I tend to not pick at them when they're painted (I can usually last around a week before I get bored of the colour and I start picking, and at that time I'll switch the colour). Last summer, I grew out my nails and I took such good care of them and filed them nice and square and everything. Then when school came around, I got bored again and started picking at my nails. I really, really need to break this habit. Sigh.

2012-05-25

yes/no

I thought I'd just do a bit of a diary entry and I basically summarized it on my recent polyvore set so yeah I just kind of copied and pasted it to keep on this blog and stuff. You know, I actually am looking forward to revisiting this blog when I'm older and reminiscing on my awkward teenage years. Yay. Anyway, I wrote this yesterday so um yeah.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

school is ending in like 4 weeks omg time flies i swear. next year im gonna be in grade 12 and im gonna be olddddd oh god i don't really wanna be in grade 12 because then i feel old and grade 12 year is so stressful because everyone's trying to get into university and stuff and my marks seriously need to go up or i swear i will have to go to community college or something and cry which would be très très bad

but um yeah for the past few school years, it feels like its gone by way too fast and i feel like im rushing through each day when really i should just stop for once and actually enjoy life as a teenager before i hit the scary thing known as adulthood (yeah im not exactly keen on reaching that phase of my life but i suppose its inevitable) darn it wHY CANT I JUST BE A KID FOREVER sigh

why do i keep rambling in long sentences that are obviously run-on sentences i mean it's such a habit because i like to spill all my thoughts and they're kind of like huge messes of things that just come out like vomit except not through my mouth, like through my fingers or something, but omg vomit coming out my fingers what the fuck am i even sprouting, that's disgusting omg ok enough of this thought ugh ugh im weird sorry

ooh lets talk about books yeah totally i just finished reading '48 shades of brown' by nick earls and i thought it was pretty sweet but i wish the ending was different ahh the ending kind of made me mad because i wish something happened but it didnt and i hate how much when i read i anticipate things to happen but tbh that makes books way too predictable, but i do this thing where i never seem to be satisfied because there are about 2 situations which are a) the ending goes the way i wanted it to and im like "derp i knew it duhhhh how boring" and b) the ending goes the way i didnt want it to go/i did not expect and im like "wow wtf this fucking sucks i mean it didnt end the way i wanted jeez now im pissed this is dumb everything is dumb you suck author you suck a lot and ur dumb cuz you didnt end the book i wanted to so fuck you i hate you and i will never ever read another book by you ever again because of this one horrible experience with one of your dumb books that had a dumb ending that i wasnt expecting because i mean duh they totally shouldve got together but nooo you decided to leave me hanging, god" ok um jk about the b) but you get what i mean righttttttttt

okay well i've just currently started reading 'diary' by chuck palahniuk

i read another ones of palahniuk's books (fight club) and i found it pretty good but like i had already watched the movie and so basically i felt like i was reading the whole movie because the book and movie are practically the same but i really enjoyed the movie, and so i enjoyed the book too and stuff but i wish i hadnt watched the movie before because i wish i could imagine how the characters looked like in my head the way i wanted to but while reading 'fight club' all i could imagine was brad pitt prancing around with edward norton so uh yeah

anyway i think ive gone on long enough about my boring life and i dont think anyones reading anymore (either you just stopped reading cuz i bore everyone or i put you to sleep, sigh) so i'll end it at this

p.s. my ab muscles are so sore because i did an ab workout yesterday (i heard/read it actually works) and i plan to do it at least 4 times a week because even though im like average-leaning-towards-under-average-weight i have a fat-ish stomach that never seems to go away except for in morning when i wake up so yeah 

here it is, if you're curious

2012-05-22

where have all the flowers gone?


Here is the floral button-down from H&M I bought on Sunday, as promised. The shorts are from Urban Outfitters.

Also, I just really like how my legs look in the mirror. Tehe. It's such a lie though, the mirror is kind of tilted, but I can dream. Sigh.

P.S. I finally pulled out an actual camera. Yay.

2012-05-20

tic tac toe

forever21 tank top, cheap monday shorts, american apparel backpack, vans authentic lo pro shoes

Hi this is my outfit from Thursday. You can't see it like at all but my tank top had a lace front that I layered a black tank top under. I think you could only really see it close up or in person, but oh well. I look kind of retarded because I just had P.E. prior to taking this picture. Blah.

Today I went shopping though, after my volunteer orientation for the Rio Tinto Alcan Dragon Boat Festival (occurring from June 15-17). I went downtown and visited H&M where I tried on a whole bunch of sheer collared shirts (I just kept finding them and I wanted to try them all on tehe). I ended up buying a light pink floral sleeveless sheer button-down. The front is patterned with the flowers and it's not that sheer, but the back is just a light pink colour that is really sheer but I think it's really cute, and I got it for only $20! I've been trying to cut back on spending too much, especially on clothes (but lately my wardrobe has been feeling extremely boring) and so I didn't even go to Urban Outfitters because I felt like I was just going to spend more. Anyway, I'll try to post a picture of it soon, if I have the time/am not feeling lazy.

P.S. I think you can see my hair roots, especially in the first two pictures. Oh god haha I really gotta redye my hair soon, but I'll probably do it in the summer. Hopefully.

2012-05-18

daisy

moon blouse, h&m cardigan, american apparel backpack, vintage shoes

'Tis my outfit from Thursday. Yes, I have definitely been falling behind on posting my outfits, but I'm catching up! Haha

I didn't take that picture of my outfit laying on my bed until after I wore it and so my shorts (which seem to enjoy wrinkling no matter what) look all worn and poofy and wrinkly. Even though I ironed them the night before. I guess it's because I spent most of my day sitting in classrooms and so they wrinkle like mad when I sit. Sigh.

And man that fourth pic down is a really unflattering picture of my leg. Oh well. And the fifth is a random picture I took while walking home from school.

P.S. Why hello there Dr. Spencer Reid/Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler ^_^ HEHE 

i see right through you

american apparel shirt, zara skirt

Awkward pictures of my outfit from Tuesday (May 15). Hm. Oh well. 

Well, my friend and I decided to coordinate our outfits, so we both wore a sheer black button down with a floral skirt. I wore these flats with this outfit.

I don't really have much else to say. But man, these are some pretty bad pictures. Aha, I'll just leave it at this.

2012-05-14

constant view


The view of my bedroom as I lie on my bed. A wall of Urban Outfitters catalogue pages, a simple clock, a back of a door overflowing with outerwear and bags. Not much.

School has been all right lately. Actually, I lied. It's been pretty bad in math, but great in English class. I received my math quiz today, which I failed miserably (9.5/23) which is quite possibly one of the worst marks I have ever gotten on any quiz (so much for acing math this term). But on a brighter note, I got my English crossgrade essay exam back and I got 21/24 on but considering I got one of the highest marks and most people got under 20, I'm pretty pleased with it. It was an essay regarding the negative impact of technology in our lives today. While writing it in-class, I kind of gave up because I felt like my argument sucked and everything just went on and on like I was blabbering about nothingness, but I guess it turned out pretty well.

I've been volunteering a lot lately for different events. The most recent one I did was handing out water at a water station for the Vancouver Marathon just a week ago. I have now signed up a local neighbourhood festival called Collingwood Days, the ChildRun for the BC Children's Hospital Foundation, and the Rio Tinto Alcan Dragon Boat Festival. At first I was doing this just for the hours that I need to complete my Leadership 11 course, but now I'm starting to see the greater aspects of it - the idea of giving back to the community (I know this phrase is so overused) and obtaining plenty more experience that will benefit me in the future. I feel like I'm signing up for a bit more than I can juggle (most of them I signed up for all shifts of the day), but I feel like if I don't, then I'll be missing out on experience and I'd probably be doing something less productive at home.

I'm feeling a bit horrible right now because my throat kind of hurts (I'm not sure if I'm sick or if this is allergies or what) and I have allergies and so one nostril is plugged and my nose is itchy, I keep sneezing, my eyes keep watering, and my ears feel slightly plugged. Oh god. I really need to take some allergy medication. Good bye.

2012-05-13

flieder

barbara kruger, agnes obel’s riverside (directed by alex brüel flagstad), gaby jeter, thestylerookie

2012-05-10

face


face

if i could see
all the skeletal feelings
behind fake faces
of the people who surround me

i think
i would be god

cotton candy

unknown, ddianakangg, foxinfauxfur

I really, really, really, really want to dip dye my hair pink. I don't really care that is trend is so last year or whatever, but I really want my hair like this. I'm planning to dye my hair like this probably around November of this year (after my grad photos, as I don't really want pink hair for it...). I'm super excited and I wish I could just do it now but I don't know. I just don't really want my hair to be pink for my grad pics. I really like the look of the second photo, How it kind of "blends" from brown to pink. I like the first pic's shade of pink though (erm also I don't know who the owner of the first pic is, I just found it floating around sourceless so um yeah), I don't know if it's too bright or not. I'm not sure if I should go for a more brighter pink, or a pastel-ish pink, or a more darker pink? I don't know. Hopefully I'll decide when the time comes.

Also I showed this to my mom and she disapproved. Meh. Typical. My mom is really against me dyeing my hair. Like, for instance, I dyed my hair brown at home using a Palty box dye (in Caramel Brown) while my mom went to the dentist. Seriously. And she got mad at me but whatever, she couldn't do anything about it. Also, she vowed that the next time I dye my hair, she'll chop all my hair off. I think that's a threat. But I don't think she has the guts to do it. Besides, I'm not gonna tell her when I do it. I'm just going to go to a salon and get it done and come home one day with pink dip dye.

Besides, there's so many pros to dip dyeing. I mean, for starters, if you don't like the colour of it, you could always just trim your hair because the dye is on the bottom. Plus, you could try those semi-permanent hair dyes to test how it looks first. Also it's cute. So yeah.

But then again, since my hair's black, I'm gonna have to bleach it and everything which I know is obviously very damaging to your hair. But hey, referring back to the pros, if my hair does start to look fried and hideous, I could always cut it.

Oh I just can't wait. I don't know if I really have the balls to do it. Whatever. I will. Sigh.

2012-05-09

a girl


a girl

her bare raw rose hair
it is a sea
with delirious tears
a drunk mist between them
but here they sit
he says
sleep
dream

2012-05-08

jasmine in the sky with diamonds

 h&m striped t-shirt, vintage denim shirt, garage leggings, black velvet lo pro vans, penny stock backpack (but you can't really see it)

This was what I wore today. I felt casual today. Too casual. I don't know. Well, more casual than I'm used to. My mommy gave me this denim shirt 2 years ago and even though I haven't worn it in a while, I've been wearing it a lot recently. It kind of got forgotten amid all my clothes over the past couple of years. Also, I really really love these black velvet Vans. I got them on sale for $10 at the Seattle Premium Outlet which is so fucking cheap. Oh my god. I love the look of them. My outfit felt kind of boring and plain today so I was like, what the heck, I'll just throw these on because at least they have some sort of a cool texture to them. Yup. Also I just realized that all 4 photos of my outfit are all in different settings. Haha, I didn't mean to, but I didn't have much time so I just stood there and took a picture of my outfit whenever I had the chance. Which happened to be: a) in my room before I left the house for school, b) outside when I was waiting for my mom to unlock the car, c) in the school washroom, and d) in another washroom at school. Oh well. At least I bothered to take pictures.


It was cloudy today but still kind of warm. Well, warm enough to not wear a coat. As you can see from the 4 bottom photos of the sky, the sky was really pretty today. I really like clouds, and as generic as these cloud photographs I took are, I think these clouds are really pretty. Or maybe it's just the lighting of the clouds against the sun. Hmm.

girl, interrupted

thrifted knit cardigan, something else by natalie wood dress, vintage boots, penny stock backpack

This is what I wore yesterday. It was actually warm and not rainy. Like, actually, which is really quite rare for Vancouver spring weather seeing as how it's always raining and cloudy and ugly and sad. But anyways, I haven't worn a dress in ages (since probably the beginning of the school year or summer or sometime like that) and it kind of feels nice to go back to my old style where daily I'd dress like this (you know, totally girly but not girly at the same time). I mean, lately I've been dressing more and more casual (Vans, leggings, hoodies, t-shirts, etc) and it seemed about time that I embraced my old style again and seeing as the weather was so lovely and nice I couldn't resist. I'm kind of in this weird phase in terms of clothing and style where I can't commit to one style entirely; I seem to just jump from casual to dressy to girly etc etc.

Oh well. I'm sure someday I'll figure this all out. Someday.

But speaking of the future, I'm still in a meh state as to what I want to be when I grow up. I'm kind of just like, well there's this option, but meh, it seems so hard/boring/not high enough pay/not worth it/not even interesting/I lack the background/etc. I don't even know. Right now I'm kind of leaning towards becoming an architect because I do have an interest in building design and architecture but the thing that I can't get past is that I don't really have a background in it because I've never taken a drafting course (which they offer at my high school) which I think would've been helpful if I were to truly pursue this career. But then again, drafting is just drawing out designs and people have told me that it's not even necessary because nowadays computers do all the work but I don't know. I'm not even sure if I am truly creative enough to become an architect, too. I mean, during winter break when I was volunteering at a gift wrapping service, I talked to a girl who was also volunteering and she was currently in university majoring in architecture, so I asked her about it and what it's like and she told me that lacking a background in drafting won't really affect me and that the math in architecture is really simple (all you need to know are the basics), so I guess that kind of made me feel better about pursuing this.

The thing is, though, right now I'm trying to get in sciences at UBC because I feel like sciences is the way to go, if you get what I mean. But I don't know. I mean, right now my whole schedule and most of my courses revolves around me getting into sciences in post-secondary but the thing is, I don't know if science is really my thing. I mean, I do enjoy biology, but apparently that's the most useless one (well, duh). I haven't taken a chemistry course yet, as I am taking Chemistry 11 in summer school this year (fun) and then next school year during my grade 12 year I will be taking Chemistry 12. My sister is currently majoring in chemistry but based on the stuff she's been doing, it just looks complicated and boring to my un-chemistry educated mind. And don't get me started about physics. Let's just say me and physics don't get along very well.

Well, I just really hope that things fall into place because I just don't know what to do and next year will be my grade 12 year and I'll be all stressed and ahhh and my hair will probably turn gray and one time my math teacher told us that one time during a test this girl started crying because she had so many tests and quizzes and projects that week that she just couldn't handle it so she broke down and started crying in the middle of a test and I can just imagine that being me and oh god. I have 6 academic courses next year. English, math, calculus, chem, bio, and french. Oh joy. I really hope that my timetable next year is evenly distributed so that I won't have like 4 boring hard academics on one day because that would be torture and I'll probably cry. I'm also taking PE and I have a free block, so I hope I'll have one of those on each day so that at least it's kind of balanced. Kind of.

P.S. The bottom-est picture I'm holding a bag of Miss Vickie's chips. I LOVE MISS VICKIE'S CHIPS AHHH OMNOMNOMNOMMM

2012-05-07

the world fascinates me


Here are some photos I took with my shitty cellphone camera strewed together in this post.

1. My "The World Fascinates Me" by Andy Warhol poster
2. Some Urban Outfitters catalogue pages I stuck on my walls because I am cool
3. More Urban Outfitters catalogue pages because that is how cool I am (not really)
4. A map I got from Paper-Ya (this really cute little stationary/notebook/card shop at Granville Island)
5. A sticker I saw while waiting for the bus for 30 minutes yesterday
6. AMERICAN APPAREL STORE GLASS DISPLAY BEING DESTROYED AT SEATTLE MAY DAY PROTEST AHHHHH AMERICAN APPAREL AMERICAN FUCKING APPAREL. I love you American Apparel. Just saying.
7.  Me and my acid wash jeggings and brown flats
8. Me again except this time with my sister's feet. Cool.

Okay yeah as you can tell I am obviously very bored and had nothing much better to do than to share with you a bunch of irrelevant photos that probably won't be of interest to anyone but um yeah anything to get out of studying for my math quiz tomorrow on arithmatic and geometric sequences and series.