girl, interrupted

thrifted knit cardigan, something else by natalie wood dress, vintage boots, penny stock backpack

This is what I wore yesterday. It was actually warm and not rainy. Like, actually, which is really quite rare for Vancouver spring weather seeing as how it's always raining and cloudy and ugly and sad. But anyways, I haven't worn a dress in ages (since probably the beginning of the school year or summer or sometime like that) and it kind of feels nice to go back to my old style where daily I'd dress like this (you know, totally girly but not girly at the same time). I mean, lately I've been dressing more and more casual (Vans, leggings, hoodies, t-shirts, etc) and it seemed about time that I embraced my old style again and seeing as the weather was so lovely and nice I couldn't resist. I'm kind of in this weird phase in terms of clothing and style where I can't commit to one style entirely; I seem to just jump from casual to dressy to girly etc etc.

Oh well. I'm sure someday I'll figure this all out. Someday.

But speaking of the future, I'm still in a meh state as to what I want to be when I grow up. I'm kind of just like, well there's this option, but meh, it seems so hard/boring/not high enough pay/not worth it/not even interesting/I lack the background/etc. I don't even know. Right now I'm kind of leaning towards becoming an architect because I do have an interest in building design and architecture but the thing that I can't get past is that I don't really have a background in it because I've never taken a drafting course (which they offer at my high school) which I think would've been helpful if I were to truly pursue this career. But then again, drafting is just drawing out designs and people have told me that it's not even necessary because nowadays computers do all the work but I don't know. I'm not even sure if I am truly creative enough to become an architect, too. I mean, during winter break when I was volunteering at a gift wrapping service, I talked to a girl who was also volunteering and she was currently in university majoring in architecture, so I asked her about it and what it's like and she told me that lacking a background in drafting won't really affect me and that the math in architecture is really simple (all you need to know are the basics), so I guess that kind of made me feel better about pursuing this.

The thing is, though, right now I'm trying to get in sciences at UBC because I feel like sciences is the way to go, if you get what I mean. But I don't know. I mean, right now my whole schedule and most of my courses revolves around me getting into sciences in post-secondary but the thing is, I don't know if science is really my thing. I mean, I do enjoy biology, but apparently that's the most useless one (well, duh). I haven't taken a chemistry course yet, as I am taking Chemistry 11 in summer school this year (fun) and then next school year during my grade 12 year I will be taking Chemistry 12. My sister is currently majoring in chemistry but based on the stuff she's been doing, it just looks complicated and boring to my un-chemistry educated mind. And don't get me started about physics. Let's just say me and physics don't get along very well.

Well, I just really hope that things fall into place because I just don't know what to do and next year will be my grade 12 year and I'll be all stressed and ahhh and my hair will probably turn gray and one time my math teacher told us that one time during a test this girl started crying because she had so many tests and quizzes and projects that week that she just couldn't handle it so she broke down and started crying in the middle of a test and I can just imagine that being me and oh god. I have 6 academic courses next year. English, math, calculus, chem, bio, and french. Oh joy. I really hope that my timetable next year is evenly distributed so that I won't have like 4 boring hard academics on one day because that would be torture and I'll probably cry. I'm also taking PE and I have a free block, so I hope I'll have one of those on each day so that at least it's kind of balanced. Kind of.

P.S. The bottom-est picture I'm holding a bag of Miss Vickie's chips. I LOVE MISS VICKIE'S CHIPS AHHH OMNOMNOMNOMMM