i don't feel like a person

the virgin suicides, enflurane

Today was the second day of classes. Great. Here's how they went (what a joy):

Block E- English

So I found out I was in a blended learning english class, which is new to my school. We didn't sign up for this. Apparently it was just randomly assigned. A blended learning class basically combines face-to-face learning time with teachers (it's still a full class) as well as independent online learning where you don't need to attend class. It seems okay I guess. I mean, I don't need to attend class on certain dates. That gives me an excuse to skip except I get to skip with a valid reason heheheh (just kidding, I'm not that kind of student! I never skip okay).

Block F- Leadership

My class is seems to have more guys than girls. It's the guys who are athletic and act like they're really cool kind of guys. Um. Yeah. But for leadership, we basically do fundraisers and help out with events and etc etc. For instance, there are two annual P.E. runs (I'm not sure how long it is but people say it is about 7 laps on a 400m track), and leadership students get to host it and stand outside and time runners or stand at the checkpoints that are at certain corners of the streets (a.k.a. missing class time aw yeah).

Block G- Pre-Calculus

Math wasn't too bad. In fact, I must admit, I don't find math all too bad. I actually love it when it makes sense. You know that feeling you get when you understand something in math? Yeah. That feeling is fucking great. But when I don't get something in math, I literally want to burn my textbook. The thing that sucks is that we get new textbooks because of a new curriculum that started at my grade in grade 8. So basically since grade 8 we have been getting new textbooks and learning a different/new curriculum that the grade above us. Interesting.

Block H- French

My teacher is a fellow with crossed eyes. It is intriguing, but also scary. I mean, you can't tell whether or not he's looking at you or not! Today, while he was talking in front of the class, it felt like he kept looking at me because his eyes looked like they were looking at me. But I think he was looking at someone else because at one point while he was standing in front of the class, he was talking to one kid but he kind of looked like he was looking at someone else so I was trying to figure out how his eyes worked, like if he appears to be looking one way, where he's actually looking. One day I will master this.

So that was my day. Not too interesting. But afterschool I had volleyball tryouts. I'm not going to lie, that was the worst I've ever done in a tryout. I've been on the volleyball team my entire highschool life (in grades 8, 9, and 10) but now this year in grade 11, I don't think I'm going to make it onto the team. This year, it's the senior team, because grade 11 and 12s both are in the senior team. This made me so nervous because the older grade kind of intimidates me and I played so badly and I sucked so much I feel so humiliated now. The coach didn't make any cuts yet (though I think I would be cut) and there is another tryout on Tuesday. I'm debating whether or not I should go or not and furthur embarrass myself. I'm sad.

(UPDATE: I made it on the senior volleyball team and I cannot believe it. Oh my god.)