Came back from a family BBQ and I'm tired. I'll probably do like outfit posts and shit like that tomorrow but hi. I've been listening to 'Teen Idle' by Marina and the Diamonds a lot lately.
Like, I feel like this is how I'm going to end up feeling in a few years and it's making me kind of depressed. The thing is, I'm still young, and I can still do stuff and, well, I don't know, live my adolescence to the fullest? Did that sound stupid? Probably. But yeah. I feel like I need to go out more. I need to have more fun instead of wasting each day but at the same time I feel like it's too late. Ugh. I just wish that I spent my time better in the past few years. Like, I look on facebook and my news feed has all this shit of people doing fun shit and going out and enjoying themselves and I just kind of sit there and envy them. Like, the thing that sucks the most is that those people who look like they're having a fucking blast are like, well, the beautiful, popular kids and then there's me who was so awkward and ugly and ugh but now I feel like I've actually gained some self-confidence and I actually feel like I've become prettier or whatever (god I sound so dumb right now) but like honestly I would never be able to live the way those kids do and do the things they do and I'll probably just grow up and look back at my teenage years and cry. Cry because I like the feeling of crying and cry because I wasted my youth. Okay I'm just rambling about dumb stuff on my mind and I'll just shut up and go to bed now.
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